A guided self discovery assessment

Discover Your
Relationship Style

Explore the four approaches we call Thinker, Feeler, Actor and Planner. Watch the four room videos, then rank descriptions of yourself at work, in relationships and in childhood, followed by short statements and word groups.

In each set, rank all four options from most like you to least like you. Answer with what first comes to mind. There is no need to overanalyze. Choose what feels naturally like you, rather than what you think you should be like. For childhood, think about what you remember of yourself then.

4 Most like me3 Second most like me2 Third most like me1 Least like me

Use each score once in every set, even if more than one option feels familiar. Your order can change between sets. There are no right or wrong answers. You can learn to use all four styles. Your lowest scores invite you to notice the approaches you currently use or value least. If one of these is your partner’s highest style, you may overlook something that matters deeply to them, creating room for misunderstanding.

0 of 14 ranking sets complete

Part 1 · The four rooms

Which room feels most like you?

Imagine four different rooms, each representing a way of thinking, feeling and approaching life. We can all spend time in every room, but some feel more familiar or inviting. You may naturally use some attributes more often, understand some more easily, and value different things in each.

Watch all four videos, about 6 minutes 21 seconds in total. Focus on the words and the qualities they describe. Which ones do you relate to most? Which room would you most want to step into? Rank your connection with each room, rather than its furniture or scenery.

Part 2 · Your life contexts

You, in different parts of life

Read all four descriptions in each set before ranking. Consider your usual tendencies, even if none describes you perfectly. If you are not in paid work, think about study, volunteering or shared responsibilities.

Part 3 · Your natural preferences

Which statements feel like you?

Rank the four statements in each set. Then do the same with the five sets of word groups. Choose the group that feels closest overall, even if an individual word fits less well.

The words you relate to