A guided self discovery assessment

Discover Your
Relationship Style

Meet the four approaches we call Thinker, Actor, Feeler and Planner. First, explore the four cards and notice your response to their symbols and words. Then rank descriptions of how you naturally connect, show care and handle differences in close relationships, followed by short statements and word groups.

In each set, rank all four options from most like you to least like you. Answer with what first comes to mind. There is no need to overanalyze. Choose what feels naturally like you, rather than what you think you should be like. If you are single, think about how you usually relate to someone close to you, or draw on a past relationship. Rate yourself, rather than the partner you would like to find.

Most like meSecond most like meThird most like meLeast like me

Use each ranking once in every set, even if more than one option feels familiar. Your order can change between sets. There are no right or wrong answers. You can learn to use all four styles. Your lowest scores invite you to notice the approaches you currently use or value least. If one of these is your partner’s highest style, you may overlook something that matters deeply to them, creating room for misunderstanding.

0 of 14 ranking sets complete

Part 1 · Explore the four cards

Which card feels most like you?

Take a moment with each card. Consider the symbols and words you notice and what they mean to you personally. There are no fixed meanings and no right or wrong reactions.

You may feel immediately drawn to some cards, “Yes, that’s me”, and want to jump into them. Other cards may feel less familiar, unappealing, or even bring up a strong dislike. Those reactions are useful too. Notice which cards speak to you most and which speak to you least.

Now rank the cards: Most like me, Second most like me, Third most like me, and Least like me. Go with your first response rather than overthinking it.

Part 2 · Your relationship situations

You, in close relationships

Read all four descriptions in each set before ranking. Consider your usual tendencies, even if none describes you perfectly. Think about your approach with a current or former partner, or someone close to you. Choose what you usually do, rather than what you wish the other person would do.

Part 3 · Your natural preferences

Which statements feel like you?

Rank the four statements in each set. Then do the same with the five sets of word groups. Choose the group that feels closest overall, even if an individual word fits less well.

The words you relate to